The Gift of Time

How was everyone's Valentine's Day? I hope you all had a blast!

We certainly did! It was such a lovely weekend! We had a couples massage and then ate dinner at my most favorite restaurant ever, Wild Ginger! (Seriously, if you live in the greater Nashville area and can make it out to Franklin, it's the best restaurant I have ever been to. And their sushi is on point! And no, I'm not getting paid for advertising. That would be nice though *cough cough*)

We even got an extended weekend! I don't know where all you lovely readers are, but here in the general area of Nashville, TN, we have just had constant ice! I don't know how all you people up north deal with it! That cold is just awful. But at the same time, it was nice. MTSU cancelled classes and Blake's law firm closed for a couple days so we got to enjoy the days together! We even took Addy out for a second but she was NOT impressed.

Family Fun idea: Playing outside in the ice. Just don't forget your rain boots!

Anyway. I realized something over the weekend.  It seems to us that Valentine's Day has become more about buying gifts for your SO than appreciating the love in the relationship.  Now, don't get me wrong. I love gifts.  I love buying gifts for Blake and I love getting gifts from him. And I can't really speak for him, but based on the frequency I receive gifts from him, he loves giving them too.

But. Here's the thing. Flowers die.  Memories don't. We're the type of couple that would rather give something small and instead invest the money on doing something together.

For example. Our anniversary is a short FOUR MONTHS away! (Happy 8 months of being married, sweetie!) Usually, according to tradition, the first anniversary gift is supposed to be something made of paper. As I just learned, in addition to the traditional paper gift, the more modern take is clocks! How interesting! Thanks, Hallmark! Anyway. We could go out and buy each other gifts made of some nice, snazzy paper or even a huge grandfather clock that could take the office from drab to fab, but what would be the fun in that? Instead, we are planning a nice little getaway to Universal for a few days since we didn't get to go there as we had planned for the honeymoon...

Not that we have to spend every waking (and sleeping) hour together.  First of all, even if we wanted to, it's not possible! It would be mighty hard for us to find jobs that would allow us to be together every minute, plus there's classes!

Another thing we enjoy: Hockey games! Looking forward to those box seats!

Which leads me to an interesting thing.  In my romantic relationships class, we were given a scenario that went a little something like this: "Your friend Juliet loves her new boyfriend.  They are together all the time- she goes to school sporting events with him, hangs out with him every weekend, and even sometimes goes to his classes with him.  But this past Saturday night, when her boyfriend was going to the football game, she decided to stay home and watch a romantic movie and have "girl time". Her boyfriend is concerned that she's starting to drift away from him. What does this illustrate about Juliet?"

All I could think was "I need to take a bubble bath!" Don't we all have those times where we want to be alone, if only for like 10 minutes? While I don't like to be apart from Blake too much when we do get the chance to be together, I also recognize that he needs his time to play one of his video games and I need my time to relax in a bath with a good book.

And despite what most of the people in my romantic relationships class think, there doesn't always have to be an extreme. It's called moderation. Gifts are nice, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I was given tangible items instead of time.

Even if I do have a nice long list of things I want from Tiffany & Co.

The first gift he ever gave me. Not from Tiffany's.

The Evolution of Love: A Critique

I love reading articles about love/relationships/dating. In fact, whenever I see them, I can't not read them.  And poor Blake, I always make him read them too.  Sometimes because I love what the article has to say, sometimes because it reminds me of us, and sometimes because I think the author is SO DUMB I have to rant about idiots. Sometimes they just make me laugh out loud and restore my faith in humanity.  (So basically, no matter what, I will read the article.  And I will make Blake read it too.)

Today, I read one from Elite Daily.  (If you want to read it/skim it/ look at it just to see what I'm talking about, head on over to Elite Daily and check it out.)

Let me start by saying I agree with the main premise- love in a relationship definitely does evolve over time.  I love Blake more and in a different way than I did when we first said it a couple months into our relationship. 

Sidenote and cute story: Technically, I was the first one to say "I love you".  It was raining and we were leaving the library.  He did the very chivalrous act of holding my super-girly umbrella up until it covered all of me and about half a square inch of him. No, I did not mean that I loved him loved him- it was far too early for me to know if I did or not. It was more of a "Oh you are so sweet I love you for being so kind to me."

The real deal came while watching a Disney movie. I'm pretty sure it was Tangled. And yes, he said it first. Actually, his exact words were "I think I'm in love with you" (Swoon.)

Anyway.  At three months, I didn't think of our relationship as "this season's new handbag." In fact, at three months, we were already playing with the idea of getting married.  At three months, he put a diamond ring on my finger. (Note: Just so everyone knows.. If you are given a promise ring by that someone special, etiquette rules say it goes on the left hand.  Not the right hand, as some people insisted. Rant over.)

Also, I have a MAJOR problem with what they say about "I Love you" at month four: "I'm ready to try weird sex stuff with you." Excuse me. Let's get one thing straight right now: LOVE AND SEX ARE NOT THE SAME THING. I have never thought of saying I love you to say "hey, let's get kinky." Is that a thing people do?  I don't even understand that. When did love go from meaning love to meaning sex? If you want to get kinky, say that.  Don't try to push it in under the alias of love. 

I did really love one thing about this article: The description for three years. "In fact, "I love you" doesn't do it justice.  It's too much about yourself and what this other person does for you.  A better expression would be, "You, I love" because that's what you really mean."  

I also had one more thought about this article.  Love develops at varying speeds for everyone.  For B and me, it developed at apparently a pretty rapid pace (according to society's standards.) We haven't made it to three years yet, but we've already passed the milestones of marriage and moving in together. Heck, my parents got engaged after two weeks and they're still going strong, six kids later! But I also know for some, they need love to develop at a slow and steady pace.  Maybe at three years marriage is still a scary thought. 

I just think the important part is that the love does evolve, no matter the speed.