The Evolution of Love: A Critique

I love reading articles about love/relationships/dating. In fact, whenever I see them, I can't not read them.  And poor Blake, I always make him read them too.  Sometimes because I love what the article has to say, sometimes because it reminds me of us, and sometimes because I think the author is SO DUMB I have to rant about idiots. Sometimes they just make me laugh out loud and restore my faith in humanity.  (So basically, no matter what, I will read the article.  And I will make Blake read it too.)

Today, I read one from Elite Daily.  (If you want to read it/skim it/ look at it just to see what I'm talking about, head on over to Elite Daily and check it out.)

Let me start by saying I agree with the main premise- love in a relationship definitely does evolve over time.  I love Blake more and in a different way than I did when we first said it a couple months into our relationship. 

Sidenote and cute story: Technically, I was the first one to say "I love you".  It was raining and we were leaving the library.  He did the very chivalrous act of holding my super-girly umbrella up until it covered all of me and about half a square inch of him. No, I did not mean that I loved him loved him- it was far too early for me to know if I did or not. It was more of a "Oh you are so sweet I love you for being so kind to me."

The real deal came while watching a Disney movie. I'm pretty sure it was Tangled. And yes, he said it first. Actually, his exact words were "I think I'm in love with you" (Swoon.)

Anyway.  At three months, I didn't think of our relationship as "this season's new handbag." In fact, at three months, we were already playing with the idea of getting married.  At three months, he put a diamond ring on my finger. (Note: Just so everyone knows.. If you are given a promise ring by that someone special, etiquette rules say it goes on the left hand.  Not the right hand, as some people insisted. Rant over.)

Also, I have a MAJOR problem with what they say about "I Love you" at month four: "I'm ready to try weird sex stuff with you." Excuse me. Let's get one thing straight right now: LOVE AND SEX ARE NOT THE SAME THING. I have never thought of saying I love you to say "hey, let's get kinky." Is that a thing people do?  I don't even understand that. When did love go from meaning love to meaning sex? If you want to get kinky, say that.  Don't try to push it in under the alias of love. 

I did really love one thing about this article: The description for three years. "In fact, "I love you" doesn't do it justice.  It's too much about yourself and what this other person does for you.  A better expression would be, "You, I love" because that's what you really mean."  

I also had one more thought about this article.  Love develops at varying speeds for everyone.  For B and me, it developed at apparently a pretty rapid pace (according to society's standards.) We haven't made it to three years yet, but we've already passed the milestones of marriage and moving in together. Heck, my parents got engaged after two weeks and they're still going strong, six kids later! But I also know for some, they need love to develop at a slow and steady pace.  Maybe at three years marriage is still a scary thought. 

I just think the important part is that the love does evolve, no matter the speed.