Oh Christmas Card, Oh Christmas Card!

Following the grand tradition of sending out Christmas cards, this is our card-free card. Merry Christmas! 

Taylor Family Christmas card!

(OR, if we sent out a newsletter about our achievements and the such, this is what would be in it!)

2014 saw some big life changes for the Taylor family! To begin with, they actually became a family on June 21. (But you already knew that, I mean this whole website is dedicated to that day!) Before the wedding, however, an adorable addition came into the family: the fur baby Addy. 

This year, Admiral Addy Taylor was adopted into the Norris/Taylor relationship in April.  She was adopted from that exotic country called Petco, and has successfully been gaining weight, starting at 4 pounds and ending at what we predict is about 40 pounds. (Ok, maybe more like 10-11.)  Her greatest accomplishment of the year was a major victory in World War 3, otherwise known as "The Hairband Against Cat" war. Her hobbies include playing mouse, sleeping on mommy's pillow, and announcing herself as royalty every time she enters a room.  She has also discovered the joys of waking up the Taylors by sitting on their faces when she feels her servants (us lowly humans) have not been meeting her demands.

The Princess, admiring her reflection in an ornament

In May, Blake became an official college graduate (whoop whoop!) and looked absolutely dashing in his robe.  Larissa predicts that one day he will don a similar robe, only this time instead of being announced as "Blake Alexander Taylor" he will be "the honorable Judge Taylor." Or maybe "Mr. President" He also started working at a law firm in Nashville, and has already won over the hearts of the managing partners (and I don't mean to brag but yeah ok maybe I do because they LOVE him there and he's already looking at being promoted in March! (But I also don't want to count my presents before Santa comes, so for now we will just say it is just office rumors))  He also has no idea I'm bragging about him! Hi honey! I love you and don't be embarrassed that I'm completely bragging about how my husband is like amazing an perfect and has a good booty too ;)

Larissa started her blog and has enjoyed reading many self-help relationship books and critiquing their ideas. (Dr. Laura Schlessinger, you need to get out of the 1950s.  Women aren't meant to just be there to service men, and I can testify from experience that men want more things than just sex and food.  Only boys would settle for those two things alone, and we're talking married men here.) Anyway.  Her biggest accomplishment was finally snagging that last name she's been coveting for two years! (Wink wink!) She also thinks that convincing Blake to get a cat before getting a dog was a big accomplishment.  She is still working for MTSU, and is currently obsessed with all things baking, crafting, and decorating. 

Here's a picture from Christmasish 2013, when I was a Christmas tree!

Together, the Taylors successfully moved into their perfect townhouse (with the help of some lovely people!) decorated for their first Christmas as husband and wife, and are excited to announce that a new member of the family just might arrive in summer!


No, I'm just kidding. I'm not pregnant. I thought about putting in an ultrasound picture from Google, but I felt wrong using a real person's personal ultrasound picture just to get a reaction from you beautiful people.  So, no ultrasound for you. Instead, here's a picture of a concerned looking pug in a Santa hat!

We're excited to see what 2015 brings for us, as Blake prepares to start his second year in law school and Larissa enters her senior year of college! 

Why I'm Glad I got Married In College

So, for those unmarried folks, there's this nifty little thing you have to do before getting married called getting your marriage license.  You go to the happy little county clerk office, tell them your name, age, parents' names, and a bunch of random information in order to get a paper that your officiant fills out after the ceremony and mails back to the county clerk office, who then gives you a gorgeous certificate that you need to do all the fun stuff like change your name, social security number, and get a new license.  Oh, and to change your name on things like your bank account, your insurance cards, and oh yeah, your FAFSA.

Whew. That's a lot.

It's quite fun.

When we got our Marriage License.  Note our excited faces.  It's that fun :)

So while we were picking up our license, I told them my age and the wonderful ladies responded with "Oh but you're just a baby! A child bride!" Then, when a guy in one of my classes saw my rings, he asked if I was married and when I said yes (of course) he asked if I was Mormon or Catholic. I'm still LOLing about his reaction.

No, I'm not an established adult yet. I am quite young, but that doesn't mean that I'm not mentally ready or mature enough to make this decision. Plus, the fact that the average American gets married at a much later age but the divorce rate is still so high shows that maybe age and marriage readiness are not so correlated after all.  And even if I could have a do-over, I wouldn't change a thing. Unless I could go back and marry him even sooner ;)

I've known Blake since my very first day of college. (Or wait, was it the second day? I honestly can't remember.  But if you don't know the story of how we met, you can read it Here)

And since we started dating not long after we met, he's always been my support through the stressful times, my celebration companion in the happy times, and my comforter in the scary or sad times.  But there's something about being married that just solidifies those feelings even more.

In fact, I get all sad walking to class without him there.  Especially now that it's getting cold.  I miss being able to hold his hand inside his pocket or having his arm around me to try and warm me up.  It's the little things, folks.

I'm going to admit something.  While we were dating, especially at the beginning, I was very insecure about our relationship.  I would very often worry that he would find someone he loved more than me and just be gone.  I thought every fight would be the end of things.  But now, I know he's stuck with me forever :)

Also, living with someone who has to get up and go to work makes it hard to sleep in and skip class.  I think that's why it's good that we only have one car right now- if I don't get up and decide to skip one class, that means I have to skip all my classes and work.  Which means I would be bored at home all day.  Because I'm weird, I don't really like people but I like to have my socializing time.

Also, the struggling is fun.  Sure, it may have been easier for us to wait until he was out of law school and established and we had more money instead of being poor students, but that's all part of the fun.  We get to build our wealth together.  We will have great stories of the time we ate nothing but Ramen and Jolly Ranchers to survive (Ok, that's not true. But I can't think of any good stories about a struggle right now so bear with me :)

But, the reason I'm most glad I got married in college: How many older couples are there who say they wish they had found each other earlier so they could have more time with each other? There's a very small percentage in the world who can say they met their spouses under the age of 20, and I'm one of them.  I didn't want to waste a single moment of our lives together.  And When I'm 80 and we're having our 60th Anniversary, We will look at each other and say: We couldn't have met soon enough.

Because as someone wise once said,(but don't ask me who) (Ok, actually it's Harry from When Harry Met Sally) "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible"

This was taken the night we first decided to get married :)

And this was when we made it official :)

The Juicy Post

Well, I promised yall a juicy post, and here it is!

Orange, Apple, Tomato, Cranberry, Pomegranate!

I'm hilarious. 

But for real, it's been a crazy week.  Last Tuesday (as in the one still in October, not the one like four days ago, we decided to give Dave Willis's "Marriage Makeover" a try. (See it Here) 

We realize that at this point it's not so much a makeover for us as things we are trying to get into a habit of doing. So every night for a week, we had our hour of technology-free talking time, had intimate time, and we were mostly successful at praying together and "not being negative" every night too. 

Both of us agree that the part that we enjoyed the most was having that hour without any distractions to just talk and hang out.  No phones, no iPads, no computers, just us with our thoughts.

Our week ended on Tuesday, but we're still continuing to have our hour every night.  I think that's one thing we're going to keep doing, if it means some nights we don't get to go to sleep until 1:00.  It's so easy to give in to exhaustion after our long days of work and class, but at the same time, it's nice to use what little time we have together actually being together, instead of just existing in the same place but actually being in our little iPad or Netflix worlds.

I think a lot of couples underestimate the importance of just hanging out together.  We tend to take the attitude of "money is power" way too far, even in the bedroom.  It's always about getting something done.  But when was the last time we just stopped, sat down, put down the phones, and had a nice conversation without worrying about running late to somewhere?

The night after we finished the week-long makeover, we were so exhausted that when we got home we ate and then crashed.  And all the next day it was just sad.  I already missed that one little hour of just hanging out. So we went back to doing it the next night, no matter how exhausted we were or how much packing or homework needed to be done. Crazy how much one hour can make a huge difference!

Which brings me to my next point.  It's crucial to make time for each other.  Work and school are both very important, yes, but if we allow our extracurricular activities to take the rest of our time, are we really having successful relationships? No.

Let's not even go into how wrong "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is.  Like, there have been studies proving the opposite. (Don't ask me what studies, I just read a side note in the Arranged Marriages study that mentioned that studies have proved it false)(Proved is one of those words that sounds super weird after saying it a couple times.. Proved, proved, proved...)

Anyway. Super short post today, I know.  But it's been a busy weekend of waking up early and moving everything..

Moral of the story, even if you have a fantastic marriage (like us) it's good to get into the habit of doing things that will help the marriage stay amazing.

Like giving little kids milk all the time so when they're old they don't have osteoporosis.

Fun thoughts :)

The Secret to Love

Hello all, it's your friendly neighborhood blogger!

So totally super exciting news! Blake and I are all set to move to our new place! Whoop whoop! We're going on Monday to officially sign the lease and then all we have to do is wait for them to finish cleaning it and we're going to do the big move!

Anyway, back to marriage and relationships and stuff.

In my Intercultural Communications class, we read a study about arranged marriages and how feelings evolve over time.

Just for some background, the participants were asked on a scale of 1-10 what their love rating was the day they got married and then on the day of the survey. (The average length of marriage was 19.4 years.) But the ratings shot up from 3.9 to 8.5! Talk about a drastic difference!

The two things that really stuck out: Commitment was deemed the most important factor in building love, and deliberateness was also found to be essential.  So basically, the people who said "I'm in this and I'm going to not only make it work, but I'm going to keep making it better" fell more in love.

The whole study was super interesting, but I feel like if I just told you all the results this would look more like a scientific/statistical blog than wholly opinion. Mixed with a little fact :)

Makes sense, right? So let's contrast that to last week's post when we discussed that communication and sex are the two most important factors. I can see how those relate.  Communicating effectively isn't always easy.  It takes effort to learn how your partner communicates and interprets different verbal and nonverbal cues.  If you're not committed and willing to work at it, it won't improve.

The study also talked about how in western culture, we believe that in order to get married, Love has to come first.  Like that super cute little songy-thing "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage!" Well, it's different in arranged marriages.  It's first comes marriage, then comes love.

Idk. We were talking about why arranged marriages aren't popular here, and that made me think of dating websites.  I mean, there are like a million of them.  Ones that boast that they use scientific tests to find your most compatible match. Having never signed up for a dating site, I can't judge whether the questions are the generic "what kind of music do you listen to" or the more important ones like "How many kids do you want to have? What religion are you?" or even "Boxers or briefs?" But I can only assume the questions are not actually scientifically based.

But then I read this study in the Huffington Post claiming that 33% of couples today meet online.  They also have lower divorce rates and higher marriage satisfaction.  Who funded this study? eHarmony. Curious.

Read report here: Huffington Post

So I wonder, why would we trust computer-generated surveys to match us with our forever partner, instead of the people who birthed and raised us?

But then again, I'm also not big into online dating.

Maybe there are some real success stories for online dating sites, but personally, I think Blake and I have a much cuter story than "oh we met on eHarmony!"

And despite the divorce statistics that have been thrown out at us, I think this one is forever <3

Have a question or suggestions? email us at: sparklinkittyblog@gmail.com!

PS- next week's post is going to be AH-MAZING. Trust me, you won't to miss it! Hear all about an experiment B and I tried for a week.. It's going to be juicy!

The question, My dear..

I originally was going to make this post about time and how much difference a year can make.  But then I was reminded of this line in the Incredibles:

Good ole Edna. 

So instead, I'm going to talk about the now.

In my Gender Comm class on Thursday, we talked about romantic relationships.  My absolute favorite thing to talk about.  The topic that is going to make me a New York Times Bestseller. Maybe even a life-changing author. Who knows. 

Anyway, the thing I want to discuss is this question: Can men and women have strictly platonic friendships, or is there always some sort of sexual tension there?

I'm very curious about everyone thinks, so please please let me know in the comments below! 

In my opinion, we can.  I had a lot of guy friends, especially in high school.  But I never considered dating them or doing anything else.  They were more like my brothers.  Like literally, a couple of us had grown up together and our moms were friends while they were pregnant with us. (And still are.) 

Obviously now, I avoid hanging out alone with males, because I don't want others to get the wrong picture. I know that I don't have thoughts of doing things, but avoid the appearance of evil, right? Also, Blake and I have such little free time to be together, we want to spend every moment possible with each other. And he's my best friend,so no one can compete with him :)

Also in that class, we talked about the major things to making a good marriage (and if you get embarrassed easily or are insanely innocent, you may want to stop reading here)

Anyway.  The two most important things: good communication and great sex.

Not my words, that's official scientific fact. 

I'm actually reading a book by a couple who decided to be intimate every day, no matter what, for 110 days.  Like, they didn't let anything stop them.  Not sickness, exhaustion, their children, work. They found ways to make it work.  I'm not very far into it yet, but I'm curious to see how it affects their marriage.

And I feel like I can't go much more into this topic without getting inappropriate or extremely awkward, so I'll just stop it here. But I will admit we have a great marriage ;)

But really, I'm super curious what everyone thinks about the friendship question. Can we or can't we? So take a second and jot down your thoughts and let me know :)

And as a token of gratitude, here's the Diner scene from When Harry Met Sally. You're welcome.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

I want to take a break (just for today) from talking about relationships as in like marriage relationships and talk about relationships we have with random people we see on the street. Apparently this year there are only around 23,000 students at MTSU.  That's a lot less than the 29,00-30,000 my freshman Design professor boasted about two years ago, but relatively speaking, that's a lot of people.

That's a lot of chances to be really nice, or really mean, or just do nothing like we all tend to do.

So let me tell you a little story.  At my job, we have these things I call "Happy cards" and "Sad cards".  Basically, if a patron things we did an excellent job, they fill out a happy card and we get kudos from our boss. (Like literally, our boos sends out an email to everyone saying "Kudos to *insert name here* who got a card for being *adjective or whatever was written on the card* Yay *name*)

This is a copy of the actual card, which gets put in "The Binder of Awesomeness" with the other happy cards :)

It's great fun.

So, Wednesday night at work after messing around with some of the patrons and being my usual sarcastic self, this girl walked up.  In a seriously cute shirt.  Like, I want that shirt. So naturally, I told her I really liked her shirt.

I think that was a really big thing because she filled out a happy card for me.  (Oh, and she put my name as Zarissa.  I couldn't stop laughing when I gave it to my boss. Baha.)

That made me think.  I got rewarded in the form of public praise just for being honest about someone wearing a cute shirt.

Meanwhile, unfortunate girls are priding themselves on being catty and called the word that according to the movie The Women, "doesn't belong outside a kennel" (if you still don't know what I mean, it rhymes with witch.  And if you still don't know, well, I can't help you.  But kudos for being so innocent.  Also, how did you get through high school?)

I don't know when being called awful names like that became a positive or "cool" thing, but I think it's about time we dropped that little idiotic movement and progress past the point of being barbarians.  Just an idea.  Because I don't know about you, but I prefer to act like a lady.  In the words of Lindsay Lohan circa 1998, "It's because I have class and you don't"

It's not hard to just be nice to people.  It's a part of growing up.  And I don't even mean in a "step out of your way to help someone pick up their dropped papers" kind of way, but really, that also isn't so hard.

Let's talk about Don Ritchie.  Never heard of him? Well. He's called "The Guardian Angel".
He lives near a popular suicide in Australia and when he spots someone about to jump, he kindly invites them in for tea and talks to them.  Of course, people don't always accept his invitation, but he spends his days waiting to save lives.

Compared to that, smiling at people shouldn't be too hard.  Or telling someone when they look nice. Or even just randomly texting a friend, telling them that you love them.

So let's go from being called the bad B-word to the Lovely L-word, shall we ladies?
And men, just be decent human beings.  Which, by the way, includes opening doors for the women.  Like, last week I was trying to walk into the BAS and this guy cut me off and made me hold the door for him so he could walk out! I was not ok with that.

What a Rude Butt.

But anyway, in the method of Mormon Sunday School teacher, I challenge all of you to do at least one nice thing for a stranger today and spread happiness!

PS: here's a story about "Guardian Angel" but if you're really interested in him, googling his name brings up a lot more. :)
Don Ritchie, Guardian Angel

Long Time No See!

Well hello everybody!

My goodness, we have been a busy, busy family!

Just to recap what's going in our lives, B has been at NSL for almost 3 months now and working, and I've been working and we just finished the fifth week of class (but who's counting right?)

I've missed blogging so much, but now I only have one day off a week and today is the first day I haven't had a paper or project to do or a big exam to study for! Huzzah!

Anyway. Yesterday on our day off, B and I were running around just engaging in the normal debauchery and we came across this awesome little costume at Halloween City:

Brawk, Brawk, Brawk, Brawk!

So of course I have been laughing about that since, because there's a whole family legend about the dance of the Funky Chicken. 

Then we went to the bookstore, and I took a step into Heaven.  So. Many. Books. About. Marriage. I've had my eye on one called How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It because the title just seemed so.. dumb.  So I have plans to read that little sucker and tell you all if my prediction about it is true (Seriously, fixing a relationship without communication? I don't bite yet) or if I'm totally wrong (I mean actions do speak louder than words) 

But for now, I'm reading this little gem called The Antelope in the Living Room. I'm only a few pages in, but I'm already in love.  I know, I'm the nerd who goes to the bookstore and walks past all the exciting new books to see the Relationship self-help books.  I fully intend on having a whole bookshelf full of those things one day.  At least I'm not a history buff like my darling hubby :P what a SUPER NERD! 

Look at the Beauty.  Look at it. So gorgeous!

Then, last night for the first time since we got married, we had dinner with another couple! I love love love our traditional Friday shopping around all day then dinner date then movie time, but it was so much fun to get out and have a double date and catch up on some gossip! (Plus, we made some killer chicken, macaroni, and asparagus!) 

Also, it was super cool because now Blake and I are like the super wise married couple who everyone goes to for advice.  Hello, Marshall and Lily status!

I'm wondering if Blake would be ok with doing this for Halloween...

(But really though, a few of our friends have actually referred to us as Marshall and Lily.  And I LOVE it.)

So I guess the moral of the story is that even with busy lives, it's important to make sure to carve out time for each other to just hang out, and time to be goofy and hang out with friends too.  I know counting down the days to Friday gets me through the week, and I'm so glad I have somebody so wonderful to be with on my day off!

(PS: If you haven't seen and Liked and adored our wedding pictures yet, they're on facebook! Feel welcome to get emotional over my beauty and the handsomeness of my groom!) 

:)

Growing Pains

Well, it's that time of the year again! School is about to start back up! I personally can't wait to get back to classes on Monday! I'm especially super duper excited about my Gender Communications class because I mean.. Duh.

But that's not important.

I thought I would take advantage of this season to talk a little about growing up and what I've learned since I moved out of my parents' house. (Because now that I'm 20, I'm so wise and grown up!)

1. Adults make their beds and clean their rooms. When I was younger, my room was always messy.  But as I've grown up, I've started to get really obsessive about keeping my room clean.  That's gotten a little harder since B and I got married, since now I have two peoples' worth of stuff to clean, instead of just one.  And nothing makes a room look tidier than a made bed! Plus, it's so nice to get in a nice, tidy bed at the end of a long day!

Addy's still learning how to clean her room.

2. Adults follow the care instructions on their clothes.  RIP beaded top, cashmere-like sweater, and sequined dress.  But never again will I put anything in the dryer when it's supposed to air dry.

Also, adults don't put shower curtain liners in the dryer. (Update: I've learned you can put it on the no-heat/air fluff setting and it comes out perfectly fine! Yay!)  But I mean.. When the liner starts to get gross, it can't be ignored!

The first and last time I put a liner in the dryer!

3. Adults have bills. I LOVE my job.  I work with awesome people, it's not very labor intensive, and I've actually learned a lot about computers.  And having that job is necessary for the awesome stuff like oh, buying food and living.  I had always heard people talking about their money disappearing faster than they got it, but I didn't actually understand it until I started being in charge of paying my own rent and buying my own groceries.  Adults also budget.  As easy (and fun!) as it would be for me to go on a shopping spree and max out our credit card, I know that's not a good idea. Partially because that would be a huge waste of the money B and I are both working for, and partially because we have certain amounts of money set aside for certain expenses.  And if we go over on one category, that money has to be made up out of another category.

We're still working on eating out less.

Oh, to have this kitty's money!

4. If you want something done, you have to do it. Not long after I moved to my dorm freshman year, I ran out of milk.  I thought nothing of it, thinking my mom would go get me more.  When I got home from class that day, it hit me.  My mother was two hours away.  If I wanted milk, I had to go get it.  When there was a big spider in my room, I couldn't ask my daddy to kill it.  I had to be brave and smash that little sucker by myself.

I'm sure I still have a long way to go. I mean, I may be physically 20, but I'm mentally and emotionally 5. (And Blake is 7, which is why we work so well together!) But I can definitely tell I'm already more of an adult than I was two months ago when we got married (oh yeah, happy 2 months to us!) And I've definitely grown up since I first moved out.

But I think it's all about finding that balance of your inner Peter Pan and outer adult.

The Tao of Tiffany's

We're officially back!

I thought I needed a vacation from blogging for a little while.  I was worried I was putting too much effort and energy into it, when I needed to be focusing on something more important.  But recently, I realized how much I love it! In fact, I think I need it. Super personal: in my medical issues, we had a scare that I might not be able to ever have kids. Right now, it's not looking so bleak anymore! But that's not the point.  I could have used my blog as a positive thing to distract and calm myself, but instead I pushed it away. I drove myself crazy googling things and freaking out. I gave up something I loved because I thought it would help me. I was wrong.

Sometimes, we just need to take a break from something to realize how much we love it.

I would like to share a story with you.

For our two month anniversary, Blake bought me a necklace from my most favorite store, Tiffany & Co. (I know, a little bit fancy for only being together two months.. Like I've said, we both knew from the start.)

May I present, the necklace.

Not long after we got it, the necklace started problems.  We started having problems.  The blue part of the heart popped out of the shell, we just glued it back in place.  We would fight, but find a temporary fix.  Eventually, the chain on the necklace broke, and couldn't be fixed.  Then we broke too.

As much as it was a very painful time, looking back at it, our time apart was a good thing for us.  We had gotten to the point where we were taking each other for granted, taking our stresses and tiredness out on each other, and just not being very nice.

But, just like I returned to my blog, we returned to each other. (Not without much work, though!)

And here's where even more symbolism comes in. When we first met, we started really talking to each other when he sent me a picture that he drew of himself tracking me down after I stole his sunglasses in class one day (for that story, read my first blog post, "First Impressions!"

To think, this started it all!

Then, on Thanksgiving Day, I realized that I was supposed to be with him.  He had been trying to talk to me and convince me to at least give him another chance (I was trying to move on, even though I was always thinking about him too..) Finally, on Thanksgiving, he sent me a simple little "Happy Thanksgiving" text, and that's when everything changed.

It's crazy how much one text can change.. Twice. 

Fast forward to New Years' Eve, Downtown Nashville.  It was me, Blake, and his friend (and future groomsmen) Mitchell.  Right before midnight, I realized Mitchell was missing.  I was looking for him, and when I turned back around to face front, Blake was on one knee.  Strangers were taking pictures of us, we were kissing, it was beautiful.  Well, except for the fact that I had dumbly decided to wear high heels and my feet were DYING. 

The night all of Downtown Nashville knew we were going to get married! 

A lot of reactions about hearing he proposed on New Years' sounded a little something like this: "New Years' is so cliche I want my boyfriend to be creative I would be so upset, blah blah blah."

But, New Years had a big meaning for us.  It's the time we could start new.  We both had new feelings toward each other, new priorities, and new goals.  We were starting fresh.  We never wanted to lose sight of what we had.  We were new.

Fast forward to when my mysterious (It was supposed to be a surprise, but surprises are never surprises for us.. Something always happens and we end up finding out about them!) package arrives. My new necklace! HOORAY!

Please excuse my green shirt, I was in my lazy clothes when I opened it!

If you notice, it's basically the same thing.  But different.  Better. Like us.  It's strong.  It even had more work put into it than the first go around- he had my initials engraved on the back of the heart! He's perfect.  I'm more careful with this one than I was with the last- I don't let it get all tangled up in the mess of my jewelry, I don't leave it hanging in the bathroom while I shower to get all steamed. Blake takes care of it.

Like our relationship. We take better care of our relationship now.  We watch what we say.  We express gratitude.  We both have the marriage as our top priority. We've learned what we could lose if we don't take proper care and make sure to nourish the relationship.  We're the same people, just a little different now than we were even just a few months ago.

Sometimes, we just need to take a step back.  Maybe that step back lasts for a month, maybe for a couple of weeks.  It's like that overly used phrase "You don't know what you got till it's gone".. Except sometimes, it comes back, even stronger, better, and happier. <3

A Quick Update!

Well hello again strangers! I feel like it's been so long since I've shared my deepest secrets with yall!

I've actually been asked by a few people why I'm taking a break, so I thought I would just quickly let yall know what's going on in the beautiful life of Larissa.

Last September, I started having some medical issue stuff.  It was no big deal, I got some medicine and it went away.

But then it started coming back in June.  Finally it got to the point where I went to a new doctor, and while we don't really have any answers yet, the ideas that my doctor threw out for me were not exactly things I wanted to hear.

I'm going back in a couple days for more testing, and hopefully we can start to get some real answers.

Thankfully, I'm one very lucky girl who has a very loving, patient husband who is standing by my side through all of this and wonderful family and friends.

So right now, we're trying to be optimistic.  Worst case scenario, I might end up having surgery and some of the plans B and I made for the future may change a little. I'm trying my best not to freak myself out by googling stuff online before we hear a definite diagnosis.

Even though we are trying to be optimistic, if you feel so inclined and believe in the power of prayer, we wouldn't be opposed to people praying for us! Of course, that's all based on your personal religious/spiritual beliefs, so no pressure!

And maybe soon we will get back on a normal schedule of posting!

Thank you all for your love and support! It really means the world to both of us!

Here's a picture of me dressed as a Christmas tree for a work party! :)

Just a fun story..

Thanks to a certain dear friend of mine, I've recently started watching Grey's Anatomy.  And even though I'm only four episodes in, I'm already hooked.

On this show, they do a lot of surgeries.  I think I've already seen at least three open heart surgeries, and that inspired me to share a little bit about my experience.

When I was five, I kept getting really really sick.  I got strep a lot, which sucked, and had to go to the doctor a butt load of times.  But, thanks to my tonsils being obnoxious little buggers, my PCP found something much more serious.  I had a hole in my heart, in the top part between my two Atria. (For all you fancy schmancy people, the actual diagnosis was ASD, Atrial Septal Defect)

So, at the tender age of five, I went under the knife, was clinically dead for a while, and now have a nice little patch in my heart and ribs that are being held together by industrial strength twisty-ties.  Sadly, though, I have never set off the metal detectors in airports.

I'm not telling this story to get pity or attention.  I'm telling it because it's so stinking cool! How many people can say they were clinically dead once? Also, I feel like if I'm going to be pouring my heart out to all you lovely readers Monday-Friday, I may as well start with.. my actual heart.

Anyway.  I don't really remember much about that time.  Except that the day I had my surgery was June 21, 2000.  Right before my 6th birthday.  And my mom had spent hours the night before doing my hair "so they will know how loved you are." It was a very emotional time full of a lot of tears. And I was a little upset too.

In fact, one thing I do remember is that on the day of the surgery, I was given a cup of red medicine that would start the whole going to sleep process, and I did not want to take it.

But I drank it! and then I cried and screamed for my mommy as they were rolling my bed down the hall.  Then we got to a double door, my mother wasn't allowed to follow, I was given a bunny doll, and woke up a few hours later to a nurse who I fell madly in love with. I was so determined to flirt with him, when asked how I wanted to be transported from the ICU to my little room, I very graciously offered to let him carry me.  What a sweetie I was!

Even though that was a tough time for all of us, I think it also brought my family together, even tighter. My parents were afraid of losing their baby, and my siblings were all hoping for one wrong move to take out their competition for favorite child (I promise I'm just kidding. No one was hoping that I would die.. that I know of :p)

It also turned out to be a pretty deep spiritual experience for my mom, but that's her story to tell.

I would like to say my heart surgery taught me some profound lesson about life and love and family and inner strength, but I think really the only things I took away from is are some pretty epic scars and awesome stories.

When B and I planned our wedding for June 21, I didn't even make the connection.  But, in my 20/20 hindsight it's kind of cool to know that that day is the day my heart was made whole.  Twice.

(This is where I would put a picture of the ultrasound showing the hole.. But I think that's hanging up on my parents' fridge.  So instead here's an informational illustration, courtesy of Google!

Improvement vs. Perfectionn

Yay for some good news Friday! We finally got to the SS office yesterday to officially change my last name! Yay! Their hours are ridiculous- they are only open for 27 hours a week! And on Wednesdays they close at noon! I wouldn't mind to have their work hours!!

But anyway.  Something that I have been reminding myself lately is "aim for improvement, not perfection!"

In our society, we're so worried about being perfect that anything less is just not right at all!  We have to have perfect houses, perfectly behaved/dressed children, perfect jobs, and most importantly, perfect hair.

Note the perfect hair and perfect posture and I stare at the water!

I'm also a perfectionist- it kills me when I get anything less than an A on school assignments (even A-, those things suck too!) Messes drive me crazy, and when I do something wrong at work or in class I feel horrible about it for days. Even if I didn't know not to do whatever I did.

And lately, I've even been expecting perfection out of those around me. Sometimes myself, too, but I realized I'm a lot more relaxed about something if it's me, not someone else.

It's kind of like this: When I went to the doctor, she said I needed to take certain medicines every day for like a week or so.  And if I wasn't starting to feel better within 4-5 days, I needed to go back.  The medicine she prescribed me didn't just magically make me 100% perfect again that first day.  It definitely helped a lot, but every day that I continue to do what she said, I get better.  I would say I'm now at a solid 92%.

It would be unfair of me to expect that first dose of medicine to make me completely better again, just like it would be unfair to expect constant perfection of myself or anyone else.

There are some cases in which it is ok to expect perfection- finding a wedding dress! Making new cars! Heart surgery! But hopefully, those aren't things we are doing in everyday life. (If you're buying a wedding dress every day, you may need to rethink your priorities!)

Besides, you'll never find a wedding dress as perfect as mine

But something I'm going to work on is to make sure I'm improving.  B and I recently had a discussion (it was going to be for a blog post actually, until I decided I wanted to do something different) about some of our goals for our future.  They included things about finances, schooling, our relationship, you name it.

And we understand that as hard as it may be, we can't just magically start at the perfect life.  We have to work our way up to it.  So with every payment we make on the credit card or every day of going to class, we're improving and getting one step closer to successfully completing our goals!

One of my most favorite pictures of us, from my 19th birthday! It's perfect, don't you think?!

Happily Ever After? -Part Two-

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned the social experiment turned TV show, Married at First Sight.

While I was catching up on it yesterday, I noticed something about the couples.

Monet and Vaughn, who started out "extremely attracted to each other" ran into some problems on their honeymoon.  Vaughn felt as if they were so focused on the physical side, they weren't getting the emotional connection they needed.  I can kind of understand why Monet wasn't very open with him- they had only known each other five days.

But it's like they were taking the physical aspect and just running with it, hoping the emotional part of the relationship would just come along.

Then there was Jamie and Doug.  Jamie almost said no at their wedding- she was NOT attracted to him.  At all. They didn't kiss, she was uncomfortable with him trying to even hold her hand, and they spent more time talking and getting to really know one another.  They finally did kiss, though, on the last night of their honeymoon.  Then she admitted that she was really starting to like him!

Seeing the difference in these two couples was really interesting.  Problems started at the beginning for the couple who took more time getting to know each other physically than mentally.

And while physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, it can't be the foundation of a relationship.

There are a lot of super cute guys I have seen in my life. Some of them I would even hang out with.  And then I realized that even though they were cute, I eventually learned that their cuteness was all they had that would work for me.

Connecting emotionally and mentally (and intellectually!) are also important parts of healthy relationships.

At the end of the premarital class B and I took, they gave each couple a book by Gary Chapman as a "graduation gift." The book, Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" starts out talking about how love is not enough of a foundation for a healthy marriage.  Chapman talks about how there have to be equal levels of intelligence, compatible senses of humor, and emotional openness.

But to me, those things are all a part of love.  I could not fall in love with someone who doesn't make me laugh.  Nor could I fall in love with someone who I felt I had to teach or babysit.  And sharing those intimate secrets and being open to emotions are what really connects people.

I hope Monet and Vaughn are able to get the emotional connection needed for a happy life together.  I can't imagine being in that place, wondering if my inability to open up could be causing me to get a divorce.

And I also hope Jamie and Doug have a happy marriage.  I'm curious to see how the rest of this series goes, and to see the differences in the relationships of these three couples.

But if there's one thing I've learned from watching this, it's that I'm glad I found someone I can be myself around, be emotionally open, and with whom I have real connections.

We bonded over mutual love for riding elephants.  And playing in water.

The Couple Who Learns Together..

Well yall, we did it! We went out last night for our monthaversary! I even put on a dress, but no heels or makeup.  And if I wear flats with a dress, that's when you know it's bad.

We had a nice little dinner then went to Target for a few minutes to buy exciting things like flea drops and new claw trimmers for our baby.  Thrilling! Then we came home and nibbled at our wedding cake (which, if you didn't know, was made by my sister and brother-in-law!)

Oh, and I went to the doctor today! Turns out part of my inner ear is swollen, blocking the path of the fluids in my ear, causing drunken-sailor like balance and swimmy feelings every time I move.  But, yay for getting some medicines that should help!

But. Back to the main point of this blog, learning how to be married! Yay!


There are about 1.9 million  blogs and articles about how to be a good wife/husband.  Some are from relationship experts, some are from couples, and this one is from Blake and me.  Of course, every couple is different.  What works for us is not necessarily what works for anyone else.  But I'm hoping that at least one person who reads this blog will learn at least one thing.

Because I've learned a lot in just the one month we've been married.

For instance, people give us advice all the time.  Some of it is sought out, some of it is unsolicited.  But the great thing is, I have learned that we can choose to listen to the advice or we can choose to reject it and do things our way.  My mother warned me about this from the beginning, and she said, it all comes from love.

But some of the best advice we have gotten:

"First, be nice." This nugget actually came from our photographer when we were taking engagement photos.  If I remember right, this came from the officiant at his wedding to him and his wife.  And I think it's just wonderful advice.

"Don't wait for the year mark to eat the cake" We all know the tradition is to freeze the top layer of cake and eat it on the 1 year anniversary, but I think everyone has told us that it doesn't really taste too great after that long.  So, we ate it last night for our one month.

"Don't stop dating" B and I only get to see each other at night and on the occasional awesome lucky day that we both have off.  We realize this is part of growing up, but to keep any relationship healthy, time together is a must.  So, we eat dinner together as much as we can, and when we can afford it we go out.  When we're tight on money, we find creative ways to have "dates" like making dinner together, having a play date in the pool, playing games together, or just walking around the mall (resisting the urge to buy) and talking.   Dates are nice.  Really nice.

I asked B what some of the more important things he's learned in the past month have been, and he gave these three great lessons.  I'm so proud of him. He's just so cute yall.  My husband is adorable.

The little things matter- Doing little things, saying little things, appreciating little things.  For example, we make sure to never go to sleep without telling each other good night and a good night kiss.  When we wake up, the first thing we do is a good morning kiss.  And when either of us leaves or returns from work, the first thing is goodbye/hello kiss.  Also, it's important to let your partner in on the little emotional things and little secrets.  Little touches.  One thing that B and I have always heard is that we're too touchy in public. (Sorry not sorry!) But physical touch is a good nonverbal way to show love.

His second things was "There's nothing better than coming home and seeing your wife" (I promise these are his words, not mine! Feel free to ask if you don't believe me :))  Because of the ways our schedules work out, I usually get off about 6 hours before he does.  So 6/7 days I'm already home by the time he gets back.  Which also means I have ample time to do the laundry and tidy up a bit :)

Other than that, I can't really speak for what it feels like to come home to a wife.  However, I do know that it's a wonderful feeling to know that any second now, my husband could walk through the door (Cue door opening and.... Even though I had to stop typing for a while, Ta Da! Yay! He's home!)

And last but not least, do something for each other every day, even if it's something small.  B is the champion of this.  every morning when I'm getting ready for work, he makes the bed or gets Addy her food or gets all my stuff together.  Those little things may not take a lot of effort to do, but they show a lot of love.  While I was sick, he brought he dinner in bed every night, cuddled and massaged me, and even read to me.  And if there's one thing I love, it's a good bedtime story.

Throughout this month, we've made a few mistakes, had a blast, and loved every minute of learning together.  We've even decided to come up with a list of goals for improvement in the areas that we feel need a little more work and learning.

But I've learned that learning together is just another great part of marriage :)

One Month Check-In!

Can't you hear Moon River being played on the violin and cello?

Wow! I can't believe it, but it's already been a whole month since we said "I do!" (Although actually we didn't technically say I do- we said "I will" before reading our personalized vows.)

I'm so excited! Tonight will be the first time since our honeymoon that we actually get to go on a real date, like the kind where I put on a dress and makeup! (Well, it will be if I can actually get out of bed..)

Anyway. We've been told that no one actually heard our vows.  So, beloved friends and family, I'm going to let you in on the most public personal thing I've ever done: I'm going to post our vows for all you lovely people to read.

The ceremony started with our officiant  reading 1 Corinthians 13:4 (and maybe the following verses, honestly I was so caught up in trying to stop the flood of water leaking out of my eyes and the intense emotions that I can't remember exactly what was going on at this time)

He then asked us the part of the ceremony where we replied with "I will" (and once again, I really wish I could remember exactly what was said.  Thankfully, we happen to be related to our officiant, so hopefully we can get a copy of what exactly we said!)

Then came our personalized vows. We both struggled to get through them without breaking down into puddles of tears, but we stumbled our way through!  B is usually very stoic, so I was pretty surprised when he was getting chocked up trying to talk.

After the vows came the part where we recited more (I also plan on finding out exactly what we said here) and put the rings on each other.  Then we poured the unity sand, and then we had what probably is the best kiss I've ever had, the "You may now kiss the bride" kiss.

I know, I know, some of you are probably thinking "so let us know what your vows were already!" 

So, without further ado, the vows. 

He said...

(He made some small last-minute changes, but I can't remember all of them.  But this is basically what he said.)

She said..

Hurray!

I've Got All My Sisters *And Brother* With Me

Since this is a relationship/life blog, it just makes sense for me to dedicate at least one post to the relationships that start 9 months before you are born: relationships with your family members!

Those who don't know me very well probably don't know that I have a gigantic family.  Like, huge.  It all started out with my five older siblings (names have been changed for legal/privacy reasons...)

And now, we're this: (You may ask why there are cookies with bodies in this picture.  To protect the innocent, I turned certain munchkins into aliens to respect the privacy of them and their parental units.)

I'm lucky to come from a very tight-knit family.  Even though we are all grown up now and have our own lives, jobs, and families (and some even live way out in cowboy nation, Texas) we still have those times when we all get together and laugh constantly. 

My bridal shower was the first time in 6-7 years we were all together, so it was a great day! (That's when these pictures happened) 

And since I've gotten married, I've realized even more how much I love my family. I mean, without them, I never would have had these experiences:

• Being carried around on a pillow when I broke my leg at age two
• Learning the Funky Chicken (See Fig. 1.1 below)
• Solving mysteries such as Mr. Klaw
• Breaking into my own house with my siblings when the parentals were gone

Fig. 1.1 The Funky Chicken

Our families are the starting force that shape us into who we eventually become.  I have recently discovered that I am basically the same as my mother, and I just happened to marry someone who has a lot in common with my father. Everyone in my family also has the same sense of humor and we tend to all be interested in the same sorts of things. (And by that, I mean we all care deeply about me.  Because I'm the Princess.  And also my parents' favorite.)

Proof that we all think the same: A game involving me, my mom, brother, sister, and sister-in-law.

Because I don't get to see my family very often, I cherish the times I do.  And while there may have been phases when I was younger in which I wished I was an only child, I know nothing could replace all the fun memories I have with my family. 

As I've gotten older the relationships in my family have changed.  When I was younger, because of the big age gaps between me and everyone else (6 years- 13/14 years, don't ask for exact math) I didn't really relate to what my siblings were going through.  But now that we're all adults, I've found that we're all very similar.

And I'm glad to know that once I start having kids (give it like at least 6 years, yall) they will be surrounded by a plethora of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, great grandparents, and anyone else that I'm missing, from my side and Blake's side, who are all very loving and supremely weird.  

Our family, circa April 2014.  Ignore my hair. 

Why Stop at Half-Full When You Can Go All the Way?

Happiness is a warm gun -The Beatles

Happiness is.. a plate of cookies and glass of milk-everybody on earth

Happiness is a good book, warm cup of tea, soft cat, and rainy day. -Jackie (my awesome coworker)

If you google "happiness is" and go to images, there are about a thousand little things like this all with different ideas as to what happiness is.

And something I've noticed today is that happiness has a different meaning for everybody. 

Happiness to Barney Stinson, Neil Patrick Harris's character on How I Met Your Mother, is a vulnerable, drunk, attractive girl at MacLaren's Pub. 

For me, happiness mostly consists of these two things: 

My man and my cat.  Not that they're the only things that make me happy- a lot of other things do too.  Chocolate.  Bubble baths.  Back massages. Birds. Naps. Food. Lots and lots of food.  Beaches.

But the thing I've learned is that you have to make your own happiness.  You have to make the executive decision to be happy or fake it till you make it.  No one can give happiness to you. That would be nice, though.  I think I would just give jars of happiness as Christmas presents every year.  When I'm with Blake, I'm not just magically under a happy spell.  I can still decide if I choose to let things like getting a splinter ruin my day.  

When our tire went flat (thanks nails!) on our honeymoon, we were sad..

But we didn't let that ruin our night! We still went out and had  a good time :)

I like to think I'm usually pretty happy.  But a while back, B noticed I was even happier when I would take time out to do things for myself.  While we were planning the wedding I was getting stressed trying to balance planning with school and work and not having bridal breakdowns every time one of the thousands of bumps in the road gave us a flat tire. 

So, I started trying to learn French.  I'm not doing anything fancy like Rosetta Stone or taking a class, just using the free website Duolingo to learn the absolute basics.  It's fun, and gives me goals.  Plus, it's something I've wanted to do- I set a goal back when I was in high school to learn French and then I would reward myself with a trip to Paris.

Don't you already feel happier just looking at this picture? I know I do!

Setting goals is a great way to find happiness.  Goals encourage us to break out of our shells and experience things we wouldn't normally get to do.

Right now, my biggest goal is working on this blog.  I want it to be successful, and since that's one of my main goals, it's not hard to put aside a little time every day to work on it.  Sometimes it's hard deciding what to talk about for the day and sometimes I wonder if what I'm saying is actually affecting people or if people even actually like it at all.  But when I start to think about giving up, Blake reminds me that I like doing it and it makes me happy. 

I love to read self-help books.  Especially ones about relationships. (Go figure, the girl writing about relationships likes to read about relationships!)  One common theme I've found in some of the books I've read is making the list of good things.  Some say to make it especially about your SO.  Some say to do blessings you've received.  But they all agree that making these lists help you be happier, have better relationships, and be more appreciative of the good times.

I've decided that I'm going to start a list.  My list for today would look a little something like this: (Keep in mind, it's only 8:00 am. It's so short because really nothing has happened so far, just work..)

Masterfully done for you in my favorite computer program, Paint!

So even though we had to wake up before the butt crack of dawn, (I would estimate we woke up at the belly button of dawn) and I have to work all day, just making that list makes it hard to dwell on the negatives, when, to quote Lady Natasha, "There's so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy"