Happily Ever After? -Part Two-

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned the social experiment turned TV show, Married at First Sight.

While I was catching up on it yesterday, I noticed something about the couples.

Monet and Vaughn, who started out "extremely attracted to each other" ran into some problems on their honeymoon.  Vaughn felt as if they were so focused on the physical side, they weren't getting the emotional connection they needed.  I can kind of understand why Monet wasn't very open with him- they had only known each other five days.

But it's like they were taking the physical aspect and just running with it, hoping the emotional part of the relationship would just come along.

Then there was Jamie and Doug.  Jamie almost said no at their wedding- she was NOT attracted to him.  At all. They didn't kiss, she was uncomfortable with him trying to even hold her hand, and they spent more time talking and getting to really know one another.  They finally did kiss, though, on the last night of their honeymoon.  Then she admitted that she was really starting to like him!

Seeing the difference in these two couples was really interesting.  Problems started at the beginning for the couple who took more time getting to know each other physically than mentally.

And while physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, it can't be the foundation of a relationship.

There are a lot of super cute guys I have seen in my life. Some of them I would even hang out with.  And then I realized that even though they were cute, I eventually learned that their cuteness was all they had that would work for me.

Connecting emotionally and mentally (and intellectually!) are also important parts of healthy relationships.

At the end of the premarital class B and I took, they gave each couple a book by Gary Chapman as a "graduation gift." The book, Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" starts out talking about how love is not enough of a foundation for a healthy marriage.  Chapman talks about how there have to be equal levels of intelligence, compatible senses of humor, and emotional openness.

But to me, those things are all a part of love.  I could not fall in love with someone who doesn't make me laugh.  Nor could I fall in love with someone who I felt I had to teach or babysit.  And sharing those intimate secrets and being open to emotions are what really connects people.

I hope Monet and Vaughn are able to get the emotional connection needed for a happy life together.  I can't imagine being in that place, wondering if my inability to open up could be causing me to get a divorce.

And I also hope Jamie and Doug have a happy marriage.  I'm curious to see how the rest of this series goes, and to see the differences in the relationships of these three couples.

But if there's one thing I've learned from watching this, it's that I'm glad I found someone I can be myself around, be emotionally open, and with whom I have real connections.

We bonded over mutual love for riding elephants.  And playing in water.