Just a fun story..

Thanks to a certain dear friend of mine, I've recently started watching Grey's Anatomy.  And even though I'm only four episodes in, I'm already hooked.

On this show, they do a lot of surgeries.  I think I've already seen at least three open heart surgeries, and that inspired me to share a little bit about my experience.

When I was five, I kept getting really really sick.  I got strep a lot, which sucked, and had to go to the doctor a butt load of times.  But, thanks to my tonsils being obnoxious little buggers, my PCP found something much more serious.  I had a hole in my heart, in the top part between my two Atria. (For all you fancy schmancy people, the actual diagnosis was ASD, Atrial Septal Defect)

So, at the tender age of five, I went under the knife, was clinically dead for a while, and now have a nice little patch in my heart and ribs that are being held together by industrial strength twisty-ties.  Sadly, though, I have never set off the metal detectors in airports.

I'm not telling this story to get pity or attention.  I'm telling it because it's so stinking cool! How many people can say they were clinically dead once? Also, I feel like if I'm going to be pouring my heart out to all you lovely readers Monday-Friday, I may as well start with.. my actual heart.

Anyway.  I don't really remember much about that time.  Except that the day I had my surgery was June 21, 2000.  Right before my 6th birthday.  And my mom had spent hours the night before doing my hair "so they will know how loved you are." It was a very emotional time full of a lot of tears. And I was a little upset too.

In fact, one thing I do remember is that on the day of the surgery, I was given a cup of red medicine that would start the whole going to sleep process, and I did not want to take it.

But I drank it! and then I cried and screamed for my mommy as they were rolling my bed down the hall.  Then we got to a double door, my mother wasn't allowed to follow, I was given a bunny doll, and woke up a few hours later to a nurse who I fell madly in love with. I was so determined to flirt with him, when asked how I wanted to be transported from the ICU to my little room, I very graciously offered to let him carry me.  What a sweetie I was!

Even though that was a tough time for all of us, I think it also brought my family together, even tighter. My parents were afraid of losing their baby, and my siblings were all hoping for one wrong move to take out their competition for favorite child (I promise I'm just kidding. No one was hoping that I would die.. that I know of :p)

It also turned out to be a pretty deep spiritual experience for my mom, but that's her story to tell.

I would like to say my heart surgery taught me some profound lesson about life and love and family and inner strength, but I think really the only things I took away from is are some pretty epic scars and awesome stories.

When B and I planned our wedding for June 21, I didn't even make the connection.  But, in my 20/20 hindsight it's kind of cool to know that that day is the day my heart was made whole.  Twice.

(This is where I would put a picture of the ultrasound showing the hole.. But I think that's hanging up on my parents' fridge.  So instead here's an informational illustration, courtesy of Google!

Improvement vs. Perfectionn

Yay for some good news Friday! We finally got to the SS office yesterday to officially change my last name! Yay! Their hours are ridiculous- they are only open for 27 hours a week! And on Wednesdays they close at noon! I wouldn't mind to have their work hours!!

But anyway.  Something that I have been reminding myself lately is "aim for improvement, not perfection!"

In our society, we're so worried about being perfect that anything less is just not right at all!  We have to have perfect houses, perfectly behaved/dressed children, perfect jobs, and most importantly, perfect hair.

Note the perfect hair and perfect posture and I stare at the water!

I'm also a perfectionist- it kills me when I get anything less than an A on school assignments (even A-, those things suck too!) Messes drive me crazy, and when I do something wrong at work or in class I feel horrible about it for days. Even if I didn't know not to do whatever I did.

And lately, I've even been expecting perfection out of those around me. Sometimes myself, too, but I realized I'm a lot more relaxed about something if it's me, not someone else.

It's kind of like this: When I went to the doctor, she said I needed to take certain medicines every day for like a week or so.  And if I wasn't starting to feel better within 4-5 days, I needed to go back.  The medicine she prescribed me didn't just magically make me 100% perfect again that first day.  It definitely helped a lot, but every day that I continue to do what she said, I get better.  I would say I'm now at a solid 92%.

It would be unfair of me to expect that first dose of medicine to make me completely better again, just like it would be unfair to expect constant perfection of myself or anyone else.

There are some cases in which it is ok to expect perfection- finding a wedding dress! Making new cars! Heart surgery! But hopefully, those aren't things we are doing in everyday life. (If you're buying a wedding dress every day, you may need to rethink your priorities!)

Besides, you'll never find a wedding dress as perfect as mine

But something I'm going to work on is to make sure I'm improving.  B and I recently had a discussion (it was going to be for a blog post actually, until I decided I wanted to do something different) about some of our goals for our future.  They included things about finances, schooling, our relationship, you name it.

And we understand that as hard as it may be, we can't just magically start at the perfect life.  We have to work our way up to it.  So with every payment we make on the credit card or every day of going to class, we're improving and getting one step closer to successfully completing our goals!

One of my most favorite pictures of us, from my 19th birthday! It's perfect, don't you think?!

Happily Ever After? -Part Two-

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned the social experiment turned TV show, Married at First Sight.

While I was catching up on it yesterday, I noticed something about the couples.

Monet and Vaughn, who started out "extremely attracted to each other" ran into some problems on their honeymoon.  Vaughn felt as if they were so focused on the physical side, they weren't getting the emotional connection they needed.  I can kind of understand why Monet wasn't very open with him- they had only known each other five days.

But it's like they were taking the physical aspect and just running with it, hoping the emotional part of the relationship would just come along.

Then there was Jamie and Doug.  Jamie almost said no at their wedding- she was NOT attracted to him.  At all. They didn't kiss, she was uncomfortable with him trying to even hold her hand, and they spent more time talking and getting to really know one another.  They finally did kiss, though, on the last night of their honeymoon.  Then she admitted that she was really starting to like him!

Seeing the difference in these two couples was really interesting.  Problems started at the beginning for the couple who took more time getting to know each other physically than mentally.

And while physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, it can't be the foundation of a relationship.

There are a lot of super cute guys I have seen in my life. Some of them I would even hang out with.  And then I realized that even though they were cute, I eventually learned that their cuteness was all they had that would work for me.

Connecting emotionally and mentally (and intellectually!) are also important parts of healthy relationships.

At the end of the premarital class B and I took, they gave each couple a book by Gary Chapman as a "graduation gift." The book, Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" starts out talking about how love is not enough of a foundation for a healthy marriage.  Chapman talks about how there have to be equal levels of intelligence, compatible senses of humor, and emotional openness.

But to me, those things are all a part of love.  I could not fall in love with someone who doesn't make me laugh.  Nor could I fall in love with someone who I felt I had to teach or babysit.  And sharing those intimate secrets and being open to emotions are what really connects people.

I hope Monet and Vaughn are able to get the emotional connection needed for a happy life together.  I can't imagine being in that place, wondering if my inability to open up could be causing me to get a divorce.

And I also hope Jamie and Doug have a happy marriage.  I'm curious to see how the rest of this series goes, and to see the differences in the relationships of these three couples.

But if there's one thing I've learned from watching this, it's that I'm glad I found someone I can be myself around, be emotionally open, and with whom I have real connections.

We bonded over mutual love for riding elephants.  And playing in water.

The Couple Who Learns Together..

Well yall, we did it! We went out last night for our monthaversary! I even put on a dress, but no heels or makeup.  And if I wear flats with a dress, that's when you know it's bad.

We had a nice little dinner then went to Target for a few minutes to buy exciting things like flea drops and new claw trimmers for our baby.  Thrilling! Then we came home and nibbled at our wedding cake (which, if you didn't know, was made by my sister and brother-in-law!)

Oh, and I went to the doctor today! Turns out part of my inner ear is swollen, blocking the path of the fluids in my ear, causing drunken-sailor like balance and swimmy feelings every time I move.  But, yay for getting some medicines that should help!

But. Back to the main point of this blog, learning how to be married! Yay!


There are about 1.9 million  blogs and articles about how to be a good wife/husband.  Some are from relationship experts, some are from couples, and this one is from Blake and me.  Of course, every couple is different.  What works for us is not necessarily what works for anyone else.  But I'm hoping that at least one person who reads this blog will learn at least one thing.

Because I've learned a lot in just the one month we've been married.

For instance, people give us advice all the time.  Some of it is sought out, some of it is unsolicited.  But the great thing is, I have learned that we can choose to listen to the advice or we can choose to reject it and do things our way.  My mother warned me about this from the beginning, and she said, it all comes from love.

But some of the best advice we have gotten:

"First, be nice." This nugget actually came from our photographer when we were taking engagement photos.  If I remember right, this came from the officiant at his wedding to him and his wife.  And I think it's just wonderful advice.

"Don't wait for the year mark to eat the cake" We all know the tradition is to freeze the top layer of cake and eat it on the 1 year anniversary, but I think everyone has told us that it doesn't really taste too great after that long.  So, we ate it last night for our one month.

"Don't stop dating" B and I only get to see each other at night and on the occasional awesome lucky day that we both have off.  We realize this is part of growing up, but to keep any relationship healthy, time together is a must.  So, we eat dinner together as much as we can, and when we can afford it we go out.  When we're tight on money, we find creative ways to have "dates" like making dinner together, having a play date in the pool, playing games together, or just walking around the mall (resisting the urge to buy) and talking.   Dates are nice.  Really nice.

I asked B what some of the more important things he's learned in the past month have been, and he gave these three great lessons.  I'm so proud of him. He's just so cute yall.  My husband is adorable.

The little things matter- Doing little things, saying little things, appreciating little things.  For example, we make sure to never go to sleep without telling each other good night and a good night kiss.  When we wake up, the first thing we do is a good morning kiss.  And when either of us leaves or returns from work, the first thing is goodbye/hello kiss.  Also, it's important to let your partner in on the little emotional things and little secrets.  Little touches.  One thing that B and I have always heard is that we're too touchy in public. (Sorry not sorry!) But physical touch is a good nonverbal way to show love.

His second things was "There's nothing better than coming home and seeing your wife" (I promise these are his words, not mine! Feel free to ask if you don't believe me :))  Because of the ways our schedules work out, I usually get off about 6 hours before he does.  So 6/7 days I'm already home by the time he gets back.  Which also means I have ample time to do the laundry and tidy up a bit :)

Other than that, I can't really speak for what it feels like to come home to a wife.  However, I do know that it's a wonderful feeling to know that any second now, my husband could walk through the door (Cue door opening and.... Even though I had to stop typing for a while, Ta Da! Yay! He's home!)

And last but not least, do something for each other every day, even if it's something small.  B is the champion of this.  every morning when I'm getting ready for work, he makes the bed or gets Addy her food or gets all my stuff together.  Those little things may not take a lot of effort to do, but they show a lot of love.  While I was sick, he brought he dinner in bed every night, cuddled and massaged me, and even read to me.  And if there's one thing I love, it's a good bedtime story.

Throughout this month, we've made a few mistakes, had a blast, and loved every minute of learning together.  We've even decided to come up with a list of goals for improvement in the areas that we feel need a little more work and learning.

But I've learned that learning together is just another great part of marriage :)

One Month Check-In!

Can't you hear Moon River being played on the violin and cello?

Wow! I can't believe it, but it's already been a whole month since we said "I do!" (Although actually we didn't technically say I do- we said "I will" before reading our personalized vows.)

I'm so excited! Tonight will be the first time since our honeymoon that we actually get to go on a real date, like the kind where I put on a dress and makeup! (Well, it will be if I can actually get out of bed..)

Anyway. We've been told that no one actually heard our vows.  So, beloved friends and family, I'm going to let you in on the most public personal thing I've ever done: I'm going to post our vows for all you lovely people to read.

The ceremony started with our officiant  reading 1 Corinthians 13:4 (and maybe the following verses, honestly I was so caught up in trying to stop the flood of water leaking out of my eyes and the intense emotions that I can't remember exactly what was going on at this time)

He then asked us the part of the ceremony where we replied with "I will" (and once again, I really wish I could remember exactly what was said.  Thankfully, we happen to be related to our officiant, so hopefully we can get a copy of what exactly we said!)

Then came our personalized vows. We both struggled to get through them without breaking down into puddles of tears, but we stumbled our way through!  B is usually very stoic, so I was pretty surprised when he was getting chocked up trying to talk.

After the vows came the part where we recited more (I also plan on finding out exactly what we said here) and put the rings on each other.  Then we poured the unity sand, and then we had what probably is the best kiss I've ever had, the "You may now kiss the bride" kiss.

I know, I know, some of you are probably thinking "so let us know what your vows were already!" 

So, without further ado, the vows. 

He said...

(He made some small last-minute changes, but I can't remember all of them.  But this is basically what he said.)

She said..

Hurray!

I've Got All My Sisters *And Brother* With Me

Since this is a relationship/life blog, it just makes sense for me to dedicate at least one post to the relationships that start 9 months before you are born: relationships with your family members!

Those who don't know me very well probably don't know that I have a gigantic family.  Like, huge.  It all started out with my five older siblings (names have been changed for legal/privacy reasons...)

And now, we're this: (You may ask why there are cookies with bodies in this picture.  To protect the innocent, I turned certain munchkins into aliens to respect the privacy of them and their parental units.)

I'm lucky to come from a very tight-knit family.  Even though we are all grown up now and have our own lives, jobs, and families (and some even live way out in cowboy nation, Texas) we still have those times when we all get together and laugh constantly. 

My bridal shower was the first time in 6-7 years we were all together, so it was a great day! (That's when these pictures happened) 

And since I've gotten married, I've realized even more how much I love my family. I mean, without them, I never would have had these experiences:

• Being carried around on a pillow when I broke my leg at age two
• Learning the Funky Chicken (See Fig. 1.1 below)
• Solving mysteries such as Mr. Klaw
• Breaking into my own house with my siblings when the parentals were gone

Fig. 1.1 The Funky Chicken

Our families are the starting force that shape us into who we eventually become.  I have recently discovered that I am basically the same as my mother, and I just happened to marry someone who has a lot in common with my father. Everyone in my family also has the same sense of humor and we tend to all be interested in the same sorts of things. (And by that, I mean we all care deeply about me.  Because I'm the Princess.  And also my parents' favorite.)

Proof that we all think the same: A game involving me, my mom, brother, sister, and sister-in-law.

Because I don't get to see my family very often, I cherish the times I do.  And while there may have been phases when I was younger in which I wished I was an only child, I know nothing could replace all the fun memories I have with my family. 

As I've gotten older the relationships in my family have changed.  When I was younger, because of the big age gaps between me and everyone else (6 years- 13/14 years, don't ask for exact math) I didn't really relate to what my siblings were going through.  But now that we're all adults, I've found that we're all very similar.

And I'm glad to know that once I start having kids (give it like at least 6 years, yall) they will be surrounded by a plethora of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, great grandparents, and anyone else that I'm missing, from my side and Blake's side, who are all very loving and supremely weird.  

Our family, circa April 2014.  Ignore my hair. 

Why Stop at Half-Full When You Can Go All the Way?

Happiness is a warm gun -The Beatles

Happiness is.. a plate of cookies and glass of milk-everybody on earth

Happiness is a good book, warm cup of tea, soft cat, and rainy day. -Jackie (my awesome coworker)

If you google "happiness is" and go to images, there are about a thousand little things like this all with different ideas as to what happiness is.

And something I've noticed today is that happiness has a different meaning for everybody. 

Happiness to Barney Stinson, Neil Patrick Harris's character on How I Met Your Mother, is a vulnerable, drunk, attractive girl at MacLaren's Pub. 

For me, happiness mostly consists of these two things: 

My man and my cat.  Not that they're the only things that make me happy- a lot of other things do too.  Chocolate.  Bubble baths.  Back massages. Birds. Naps. Food. Lots and lots of food.  Beaches.

But the thing I've learned is that you have to make your own happiness.  You have to make the executive decision to be happy or fake it till you make it.  No one can give happiness to you. That would be nice, though.  I think I would just give jars of happiness as Christmas presents every year.  When I'm with Blake, I'm not just magically under a happy spell.  I can still decide if I choose to let things like getting a splinter ruin my day.  

When our tire went flat (thanks nails!) on our honeymoon, we were sad..

But we didn't let that ruin our night! We still went out and had  a good time :)

I like to think I'm usually pretty happy.  But a while back, B noticed I was even happier when I would take time out to do things for myself.  While we were planning the wedding I was getting stressed trying to balance planning with school and work and not having bridal breakdowns every time one of the thousands of bumps in the road gave us a flat tire. 

So, I started trying to learn French.  I'm not doing anything fancy like Rosetta Stone or taking a class, just using the free website Duolingo to learn the absolute basics.  It's fun, and gives me goals.  Plus, it's something I've wanted to do- I set a goal back when I was in high school to learn French and then I would reward myself with a trip to Paris.

Don't you already feel happier just looking at this picture? I know I do!

Setting goals is a great way to find happiness.  Goals encourage us to break out of our shells and experience things we wouldn't normally get to do.

Right now, my biggest goal is working on this blog.  I want it to be successful, and since that's one of my main goals, it's not hard to put aside a little time every day to work on it.  Sometimes it's hard deciding what to talk about for the day and sometimes I wonder if what I'm saying is actually affecting people or if people even actually like it at all.  But when I start to think about giving up, Blake reminds me that I like doing it and it makes me happy. 

I love to read self-help books.  Especially ones about relationships. (Go figure, the girl writing about relationships likes to read about relationships!)  One common theme I've found in some of the books I've read is making the list of good things.  Some say to make it especially about your SO.  Some say to do blessings you've received.  But they all agree that making these lists help you be happier, have better relationships, and be more appreciative of the good times.

I've decided that I'm going to start a list.  My list for today would look a little something like this: (Keep in mind, it's only 8:00 am. It's so short because really nothing has happened so far, just work..)

Masterfully done for you in my favorite computer program, Paint!

So even though we had to wake up before the butt crack of dawn, (I would estimate we woke up at the belly button of dawn) and I have to work all day, just making that list makes it hard to dwell on the negatives, when, to quote Lady Natasha, "There's so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy"

On Being Beautiful

Note: Before I begin, I should warn you that this post contains the most beautiful (read: embarrassing) pictures of me, courtesy of facebook.  I believe I should warn you beforehand so nobody passes out from fright)

I started reading Ellen's new (and by new I mean it came out in 2011) book Seriously... I'm Kidding.

I'm only two chapters in, but the first chapter had an excellent message. 

Ellen begins her book by talking about how she was really surprised to be picked to model for CoverGirl cosmetics.  She then goes on to talk about what beauty means for her:

One of  Ellen's ads for Simply Ageless Blush! Doesn't she look great?!

"I still believe that above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside- to have a big heart and an open mind and a spectacular spleen."

"To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin.  It's about knowing and accepting who you are."

Society today is all about looks.  The first thing we notice when we meet people is how they look. 

Which kind of sucks for me on days I work early, because 9 times out of 10 I'm wearing yoga pants and have my hair thrown into some kind of messy, tangled ponytail.

As mentioned in my very first post, I'm very prejudiced.  And part of that is that I judge people based on what they're wearing.  It's bad, I know. 

But come on, lady at Kroger.  Save the too-small, hole-ridden, stained yellowish previously white tank top and fleece pajama shorts for Walmart.

Not that I'm perfect- I could join Regina, Karen, and Gretchen in their line looking in the mirror and pointing out several imperfections I have.  But what good would it do?  There's already enough pressure from the outside world to be perfect, why should we make ourselves feel even worse?

But it's true, beauty radiates from the inside out.  Like in that movie where the children are really bad and the nanny is really ugly but each time the children learn a new part of being not little terrors, she magically loses one ugly feature.

The ever classy and completely beautiful (although for some reason in her time people didn't think she was pretty at all) Audrey Hepburn once (maybe twice, maybe even more) said " For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone" 

There seems to be a battle of sizes going on.  Smaller girls attack bigger girls, bigger girls attack smaller girls, and everyone is left feeling wrong and ugly.  I remember in middle school when my size started a lot of rumors and I was consistently asked if I was anorexic. In fact, for a little while it was said that I was simultaneously anorexic and bulimic.  I don't even know if that's possible.

(Just FYI: I have never had any kind of eating disorder.  Just ask my family.  On my 8th or 9th birthday, I ate an entire large pizza all by myself.  I didn't even diet for my wedding.  But those who do have eating disorders need help.  They're going down a long, hard road and need support and love.  Making fun of someone who has any kind of eating or weight disorder is never ok.)

Maybe one day, instead of girls constantly smack-talking other girls for being too skinny or too curvy or too tall or too short will stop and we will go after more important things like ridding the world of cargo pants and preventing guys from letting their hair grow out all long and gross like (shudder) 

But in all seriousness, I've decided today that while I'm going to stay humble (but, thank you mom and dad for the awesome genes that made me the hottie I am today :p) I'm also going to work on being more confident.  I'm also going to work on not judging other people based on what they wear and instead focus on the real things like where they grew up and how much money they have. 

And maybe I'll test out Audrey's advice and look for the good in others, say only nice things, and know that I'm never alone. And maybe that new inner beauty will make me feel (if not actually look) more beautiful myself. 

  

 

I'll Be There for You, 'cuz You're There for Me Too!

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. -Aristotle

When I first moved to Murfreesboro, it was really hard to say goodbye to all my friends.  Most of them stayed in Chattanooga and here I was, braving the new city by myself.

But every time I visit the ole 'Noog and I get to see those friends, it's like we just pick up right where we left off!

And now, I also have the friends I made here. And they're pretty freaking awesome too! (Even though some of them feel it's necessary to move away, cough cough :p)

But there's something special about my friends.

A little while ago, at a church devotional one night we were talking about friendship.  We learned that there are two types of friends: Friends who are with you and friends who are for you.  It's important to have friends who are both.  No matter what, they raise you up, support you, and stand by your side.  If something amazing happens to you, they don't get jealous.  They get excited too. If something bad happens, they're there to dry the tears or smash cds with hammers.

Let me introduce you to Anna.

If Aristotle is right, (which he is,) then Anna and I have no hope of ever being not friends.  My freshman year of high school we became best friends, and she's been my sister ever since! She even flew back from her family vacation early to go to my bachelorette party and bridal shower.  I know I've said that before, but I'm still amazed that I have such an amazing person who makes sacrifices like that for me!

From Sophomore year to the rehearsal dinner, Anna has always been to my side!

Having good friends is important.  Who you hang out determines at least a little bit who you become.  If you hang out with people who appreciate the fine things in life like a good chick flick (and chick-fil-a) and eating unhealthy amounts of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, chances are you're going to appreciate those same things too.  (And if you don't already appreciate those three things, you're wrong.) Alternatively, if you choose to surround people who think the only way to have fun involves alcohol and drugs, you're going to smell bad and make a lot of bad decisions.  

That one time our New Year's party consisted of star glasses and Minnie Mouse Ears!

And thanks to my friends, I've had countless nights of laughing until my abs hurt, new experiences (Publix deli salsa and Beatles Rockband anyone?) and relaxing days of hanging out at Chester Frost (for all you non-Chattanoogans, Chester Frost is "the beach" of Chatt. They created a whole sandy beachy thing on the lake complete with playground and enough piers to house the entire US Navy,) and those nights of energy drinks and taking out teenage angst on boys in various ways...

But if you ask me if who put all the soy sauce packets in that certain person's yard or broke the bottle of cologne in the parking lot at Walmart, I'll plead the fifth.

And my friends will back me up :)

Happily Ever After? Or Happily Never After? Part One

India.  Pakistan.  Japan.  China. Israel.

What do these countries have in common? Arranged marriages.

And it looks like we might be able to add America to that list soon.

Today I saw the first episode of Married at First Sight, which documents a social experiment testing the hypothesis that it is possible to scientifically find someone's perfect spouse. Basically, super desperate people let four "experts"- a sexologist, psychologist, sociologist, and spiritual adviser- find their soul mates through a series of interviews and questionnaires about sex, family, careers, and religion.

And the couples don't meet until they get married. Legally married.

The first time we hung out- what if we had gotten married that night!?!?

They then have to live together for four weeks, at which point they are given the options to stay married or get a divorce.

Basically, it's a real life eHarmony, except they don't ever date, they skip right to the "I Do!"

At first, I was kind of offended.  The 59.2 million married couples in 2013 and B and I definitely didn't just coast through and have experts just pick someone for us. We did it ourselves. We met, had the awkward phase of "what are we" (actually, no we didn't, we both just jumped in.. And I can honestly say we have never had an awkward time in our relationship!)  We went through ups and downs and even had to be apart for a little bit before we realized that we wanted to be forever.

That's the face of sheer, unadulterated bliss! And extreme emotionalness!

And then I realized, these couples are missing out.  They walk the aisle thinking about what they hope they're getting, not knowing that they're about to get everything they've ever wanted and more.  They have pre-wedding nerves about finding the other person attractive and vice versa instead of pre-wedding euphoria and intense happiness that makes you cry so much your fake lashes come off.  Multiple times.

Then there's the stress.  What do you say in your vows to someone you have never met? It was stressful enough planning a wedding with B there to give his insights, but trying to plan for a stranger must make it almost impossible.  What if your favorite flower is Peony but he's deathly allergic?  That would be a show. They don't know what kind of families they are marrying into, what the other person's secrets are, what annoying habits they have...

I'm curious to follow this series and see if/how things work out with these people. And I hope they do work out- I hope they all find the happiness that comes from being madly in love and knowing that they get to spend the rest of forever with their best friend.

If you want to watch the show, it's on Hulu.  And apparently it comes on Tuesday nights (either at 7:00 or 8:00 central, I'm not entirely sure) on Fyi.

So I might have just wanted to put another wedding picture up.. It's whatevs :)

Live Like You're Dying (Or You Think Your Spouse is)

Wednesday night, I convinced myself that Blake was going to be killed at some point the next day.  So, at 10:30, while B was trying to get some sleep in before his 3:00 shift, I had a break down.  Crying, hyperventilating, the whole thing.

Well, he didn't die.

But on Wednesday I realized that I never wanted to be in that situation.  I never want to be without him.  So in my little freak out, I cuddled up super close to him and just stroked his face, hoping to engrave how he felt into my memory so I could have him forever.

It's like I came straight out of a Nicholas Sparks or John Green novel or something.

And today I realized that sometimes I take having him for granted.  I get hangry and short with him.  I get annoyed if I feel like he's not giving me enough attention. I get snippy if he doesn't help with making dinner or cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry.

But none of that matters.

What matters is that life is short, and there's no point in wasting it being upset that he accidentally stuck my bra in the dryer or wanted to relax and read instead of constantly gazing adoringly into my eyes.  Instead I should be enjoying those times we just cuddle and read together.  I should cherish getting to see him when we get off work everyday.

Ignore our goofy faces.. Ahem. 

I think in relationships we get to a point where we start to take the other person for granted.  And not just romantic relationships- in family relationships, friendships, in relationships at work.

I've recently realized that I took my parents for granted a lot, especially when I was in high school.  They did my laundry, paid for gasoline for the car, bought my food, gave me money when I wanted or needed something, and were always there for me, even when I went through my little bout of senioritis.  When I moved out and realized I no longer had my daddy to kill bugs for me or my mom to run out and get me groceries, I realized exactly how much they do for me.

I've decided that I'm going to start focusing on being thankful for every moment I have with Blake.  Whether we are actively doing something like playing games together or just sitting together reading, every moment counts.  When I go home, I'm going to actively be with my family.  When my friends need to talk or have a problem, I'll listen.  Because maybe I won't ever be able to see them again.  And I want to take in every moment of happiness I have with them.

Because as I reminded myself Wednesday night, you never know when you might lose someone.

Taylor-Made

Get it? Taylor-Made as in Tailor-made? because we're the Taylors..

I'm a hoot.

Anyway, today has been exhausting.  So, I thought I would do something easy on the brain and just introduce the little family who produces this blog :)

The Sparklin' Kitty is proud to introduce: The Taylors!

Blake

Blake just graduated from MTSU and is going to start at Nashville School of Law in August (!!!) His birthday is June 4, and his favorite food is currently steak and sweet potato fries.  (Seriously, we went out for desserts and he ordered sweet potato fries with honey mustard to go along with our chocolate pies) 

He is currently serving as Publicist for this blog.  His pastimes include reading, playing games on the iPad, napping, and playing with his wife and cat.  He works very hard every day to provide for his family :) He is also unbelievably handsome and just an awesome person.  Not that I'm biased.  

Larissa

Larissa is a junior at MTSU majoring in communications with a minor in criminal justice.  She wants to be a "domestic goddess" when she grows up, but she's playing with the possibilities of writing children's books, relationship help books, or crime/mystery books.  She is also undeniably witty and quite a hottie.

She currently works for Tech Services at MTSU.  She enjoys bubble baths, music from the Nat King Cole/ Frank Sinatra/ Louis Armstrong era, old movies, (like legit old.. Like with Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant and Humphrey Bogart) reading, and hanging out with Blake.

She also wants everyone to know that she is not a pug. 

Our Story

Blake and Larissa met in August 2012 and started dating in September that same year. They have three instances that could count as their first date, so neither of them are really sure what was their first official date. After a brief relationship hiatus in November 2013, Blake asked Larissa to marry him on December 10, 2013. A formal proposal (this time with a ring) occurred on New Years, and six months and 20 days later, they became husband and wife in a beautiful ceremony full of tears and joy on June 21st, 2014. 

They are currently living happily ever after, but hoping to soon move from the crappy college-kid apartment in Murfreesboro to a nice, established apartment or rent a house in Smyrna. 

They enjoy cuddling, being married, going on adventures together, watching Boston Legal together, and giving each other back massages. 

They won the cutest couple award in 2012, 2013, and will win again in 2014.  Also, they will win every year for the rest of their lives. Because seriously, they're freaking adorable.

Addy

Addy was born somewhere around November 5th (maybe? A rough guesstimation) and does nothing to help the family out financially.

Her biggest accomplishment is being considered as a possible love interest by Renzo, her uncle. (He's my mom's cat.)

Addy enjoys following her owners into the bathroom, talking loudly when entering rooms, playing with her mousey, waking up her mommy and daddy at 3 a.m. to be petted, and trying to eat Charlotte.

In the future, she hopes to catch and eat an entire chicken, never have to take more baths, and succeed at eating Charlotte.

Charlotte

Charlotte has been in the family for one week.  Her hobbies include sitting on the dresser, getting spritzed with water, and spending 3-4 hours a day sunbathing. 

She is often told that she resembles an illegal plant. 

She wants the world to know she is a Pachira Money Tree, thank you very much.

She has yet to actually grow any money.

Desperate Times (Do Not) Call for Desperate Measures

There is a certain song that is on the nonstop loop on the radio.  It's called Stay with me.  And at first, I thought it was sweet.  But then I actually heard the lyrics, and realized it's about desperation.
 The lyrics:

Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand
But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man
These nights never seem to go to plan
I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

[Chorus:]
Oh, won't you stay with me?
'Cause you're all I need
This ain't love, it's clear to see
But darling, stay with me

Why am I so emotional?
No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt

I've never understood people who date out of desperation.  And even though he's talking about a one night stand, which is even worse, he just kills me with how desperate he is.

Sadly, it seems as if a lot of people my age get into relationships or engage in... activities.. out of loneliness and desperation.  They realize that what they have isn't love, but they would so rather just have someone there than to be on their own.  

The thing is, acts of desperation like these just keep real happiness from coming along.  What if you're trying to convince yourself you're happy being with someone so you don't have to face loneliness but the person you actually would be really happy with- and have real love with- is waiting for you, looking for you? 

What if Giselle and Robert had stayed with Edward and Nancy? 

I understand circumstances like mine are very rare- the first guy I actually really dated and fell in love with is the guy I married.  The average ages for marriage in America are 27 for women and 29 for men.  So at 19 and 23, Blake and I are definitely not the average married couple.  I know I wouldn't have this amazing life had I been desperate and just settled for the first guy I saw. Sure, I'm a hopeless romantic and I love to feel pretty and have attention.  But if I was ever in a relationship and realized it was not going to go anywhere, I wouldn't stay in it very long. 

When Blake and I get asked why we decided to get married so early, we don't answer things like "well we don't want to be lonely" or "we just figured we would both die alone so we may as well die alone together" no.  We got married because we love each other and want to be together forever.  I can't picture my life without him, and while I can't speak for him, I have a feeling he feels the same way about me :)

Instead, I waited (ha! I mean not really waited that long.. but I didn't give in to loneliness) and found the most amazing man, the person I love more than I ever thought possible.  The day we got married was the day I realized Disney movies don't set us up for disappointment- we do.  Princess movies are understatements of how amazing real love can be.  Happily ever can exist, if we choose to let it. 

We took this the night after we became "official!"

Not that Blake and I never have disagreements.  Marriage isn't just always automatically always perfect without a little effort.  That's just part of life. No relationship can be completely perfect 100% of the time.  And sure, we both have rough days at work. We both get frustrated at times. We might even have some stressful situations. 

But at the end of the day, I know that I get to go to bed with my husband who loves me and whom I love.  And no setbacks can take that away from me.  No stressful days or fights can ever take away the fact that who I'm with really really loves me.  

And that's what I hope everybody can find, especially those who are just deciding to settle because they're lonely or feel the need to always be in relationships.  

Because everybody deserves a happily ever after.