There is a certain song that is on the nonstop loop on the radio. It's called Stay with me. And at first, I thought it was sweet. But then I actually heard the lyrics, and realized it's about desperation.
The lyrics:
But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man
These nights never seem to go to plan
I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?
[Chorus:]
Oh, won't you stay with me?
'Cause you're all I need
This ain't love, it's clear to see
But darling, stay with me
Why am I so emotional?
No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt
I've never understood people who date out of desperation. And even though he's talking about a one night stand, which is even worse, he just kills me with how desperate he is.
Sadly, it seems as if a lot of people my age get into relationships or engage in... activities.. out of loneliness and desperation. They realize that what they have isn't love, but they would so rather just have someone there than to be on their own.
The thing is, acts of desperation like these just keep real happiness from coming along. What if you're trying to convince yourself you're happy being with someone so you don't have to face loneliness but the person you actually would be really happy with- and have real love with- is waiting for you, looking for you?
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| What if Giselle and Robert had stayed with Edward and Nancy? |
I understand circumstances like mine are very rare- the first guy I actually really dated and fell in love with is the guy I married. The average ages for marriage in America are 27 for women and 29 for men. So at 19 and 23, Blake and I are definitely not the average married couple. I know I wouldn't have this amazing life had I been desperate and just settled for the first guy I saw. Sure, I'm a hopeless romantic and I love to feel pretty and have attention. But if I was ever in a relationship and realized it was not going to go anywhere, I wouldn't stay in it very long.
When Blake and I get asked why we decided to get married so early, we don't answer things like "well we don't want to be lonely" or "we just figured we would both die alone so we may as well die alone together" no. We got married because we love each other and want to be together forever. I can't picture my life without him, and while I can't speak for him, I have a feeling he feels the same way about me :)
Instead, I waited (ha! I mean not really waited that long.. but I didn't give in to loneliness) and found the most amazing man, the person I love more than I ever thought possible. The day we got married was the day I realized Disney movies don't set us up for disappointment- we do. Princess movies are understatements of how amazing real love can be. Happily ever can exist, if we choose to let it.
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| We took this the night after we became "official!" |
Not that Blake and I never have disagreements. Marriage isn't just always automatically always perfect without a little effort. That's just part of life. No relationship can be completely perfect 100% of the time. And sure, we both have rough days at work. We both get frustrated at times. We might even have some stressful situations.
But at the end of the day, I know that I get to go to bed with my husband who loves me and whom I love. And no setbacks can take that away from me. No stressful days or fights can ever take away the fact that who I'm with really really loves me.
And that's what I hope everybody can find, especially those who are just deciding to settle because they're lonely or feel the need to always be in relationships.
Because everybody deserves a happily ever after.
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